|
| Okay. so here's the deal-e-o for anyone that still reads this. I'm moving to California. annnnd. I'm (hopefully) taking online courses from a christian school that sounds really amazing and I'm having really good feelings about =) sooo. that's my life right now. attempting to survive fall semester, and looking forward to Nov/Jan/Mar lol!
| | |
| soooo.. I'm stuck. I'm in the middle of one of those choices. the kind where no matter what I do someone won't like it, and I can't really ask anyone what to do, because well, I'm an adult and all that crap. the truth of the matter is I know I should pray about it. but I don't ever seem to get an answer. I'm worried if I give this over to prayer and not worry about it, I won't get an answer, and then... I won't know what to do. and it will be too late. ickkk. I do know that I hate it here. beyond belief. I've always hated it before, but it's to the point were I'm losing my mind. I feel like I can't take another day of this place, another moment really. and I can't even muster up the slightest bit of interest in any of it. I don't care. I'm not sure if I ever cared, but I know that I don't now. and I haven't for sometime. this is crap.
| | |
| so I'm getting around to go camping with my Rents. I'm pretty excited. I need time to write down all of my thoughts into my journal and just get them out, I've talked to a lot of people about what's going on, but I haven't really talked to myself about it. does that make sense? lol.
It's completely insane how much things have changed in the last two weeks. I can't even begin to explain it. things have just... worked. like things that I thought would never get resolved took care of themselves, no, not in the best way, not how I wanted them to end, and definitely not in a way that made me feel good about them, but they took care of themselves nonetheless, and the more I consider it, the more I realize that it was the only way they could have happened. sometimes you need to cut ties, and sometimes we just aren't strong enough to do it on our own.
I think I really need to get out of this area. it's so... dry, so empty. I don't really feel anything good about it. it's an area that's filled with a lot of painful memories. Lawrenceville, and Mansfield alike. it's like everywhere I look I'm reminded of something that I just want to let go of.
Jimmy will, hopefully, be coming out for a visit in December =) so he can freeze to death in our icy little hell hole of a state. I can't wait for him to meet everyone. okay.... well. I really need to pack for camping. blah blah blah. lol.
| | |
| so I have been slightly M.I.A. this past week. but things have been, well, completely unbelievable. like... straight out of a book or something.... it's all been insane and so intense. It's so funny, it seems like this month has flown by, but yet, the beginning of last week seems so far away! I can't believe that at this point last week I hadn't even talked to Jimmy before... it's so crazy. I don't know, I'm going to be so depressed when I have to come home, but this week was more than worth staying for, and I feel really good about this. = ) I don't even know what else to say.... so... I won't say anything else.
| | |
| OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!!!!
soooooo. I am staying out here for an EXTRA week! = ) I'm so freaking excited, I was so depressed! the second I found out I was staying I started bawling my eyes out. this is so insane, completely irrational and nothing I would have ever done, but sometimes the rules just don't apply. and... I think this is one of those situations!
never say never,....
| | |
|
